Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
