He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
