I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
