Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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