I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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