so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
