I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
