Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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