She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
