Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
