oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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