my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
