Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
