just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
