I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
