I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
