Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
