I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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