It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
