Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
