Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
