It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
