i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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