she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
