wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
