After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
