i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
