We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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