butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
