Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Text me some of your sweat
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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