I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
the raccoons are back...
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