I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
