I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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