I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
