I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
No subtext here. People are naked.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
