I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
