what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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