We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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