I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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