i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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