I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
