oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
