you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
