never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
