i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
