so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
