real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
