Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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