i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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