Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Boobs speak an international language.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
