The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
