I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
