if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
