Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
