Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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